It's Snowing

They say it rarely snows here where KY and TN touch in the western corner. Well, it's snowing today. I've heard they expect their third snow in Wilmington, NC -- now that is really unusual. But weather gives me a good chance to mention that our lives, in our marriages, in our families, in our jobs, have unexpected things happen. It is not to be UNexpected. Things change. We change. Our kids grow up, they move on. We are different every day and more ourselves today than we were this morning when we woke up. "Shock and Awe" are not the ways we face life changes. Emotionally troubling? perhaps. Upsetting? often. But we are resilient people, created for change. We are built to endure what life brings us. "God don't make junk." Dr. D.

Communication Skills

Active Listening it is called. I'm not too good at it actually. I'm usually thinking while I'm talking. However, there is great value in learning how to listen. When we listen we are wanting to learn what the other person feels about things as well as the content of their speech. If our partner is talking about "what's for dinner" we may want to know how the person feels about the question. Hungry? Angry? Lonely? what is going on? Whatg does the question mean? IF I know that the other person is angry about something, the question may not mean the same thing as if the person had a big snack (like a burger? yummm) just a bit ago and is not hungry at all. So, what is behind the question is as important as the question. So, instead of reacting "How do I know?" or "What do you want?" How about "are you ready for dinner?" Try it before you debunk it. Dr. D.

Stressful Times

Family separations are difficult. Repeated separations are more difficult. Children grow while a parent is absent. Even though not single parents, it feels like it. Trying to "reintegrate" into one's family is a challenge that sometimes goes well and sometimes is difficult. Sometimes sons don't have fathers around and daughters the same. Wives and husbands don't have each other. One cannot overestimate the power of a holiday to relieve stress. In honor of our Presidents know that many military families are enjoying a day together, sometime visiting extended family, sometime just hanging out together. These are stressful times and they may be so for you also. Use holidays to reconnect, to enjoy again each other, to dedicate important time on Monday to rebond and rebuild family relationships -- even if some members might think they don't want to do it. Uh, just do it? Dr. D.