Some Silence is Not Good

There are soldiers and some of their leaders who think that depression and anxiety are for weaker persons. What happens when you believe this is breakdown in the face of difficulties. Seeking and getting assistance in the face of stress and distress and personal challenges is not a sign of a weaker person, but maybe a smarter person. This kind of silence is not good for any of us, certainly not for soldiers and their families. Secrets of our hearts are a weight that is difficult to carry alone. Openness in a marriage brings personal peace and enhanced marital relationships. No, we don't tell anyone every thought we ever had. But to say "I'm worried and I want to talk about it" and to have your partner say "I want to hear what you have to say and we'll face it together," is a marvelous experience. Silence is not always golden -- only when your school teacher wants the class to settle down! :-] Dr. D.

Where have I been all my life

Someone posted a question on this blog. Are you the guy ... and recalled a military assignment I had almost 30 years ago. Well, I was that guy back then. I'm not that guy now. Time has a way of softening the edges and changing the person we are. Having children changes the parents. Getting older changes the person. I do remember that guy and sometimes I read what he (ok "I") wrote and look over pictures when I was young and our children were, well, children. Sometimes it is a good idea to look over the years and see "where you've been all your life." Dr. D.

Wounded Soldiers

Twice a week my responsibilities include being available to wounded soldiers. It would break your heart. There are many men and women who have head injuries and they are not returning to 100 percent after months of treatment. They appear to be just fine on the outside, but the brain damage is clear. We are taking care of them, but you can see the fear in their eyes and their voices as they anticipate a future of moderate dependency. And most of them are in their early 20's and may have had more than one year deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan. Ya gotta love em. It is my honor to walk along side of them for just awhile. Some have become my friends and I talk with them several times a week as I serve in various settings here at Fort Bragg, NC. Dr. D.

The Adventure Continues

Hey, EVERY adventure continues. We learn about one another everyday. We meet new people. We have new challenges, even if they are the same old challenges! For me, there are new adventures every day. Mowing the lawn; helping others; meeting new soldiers; finding new avenues to serves; working with other care providers; learning new things; putting together tables and chairs. What about you? Is your adventure on going? Are you looking forward to each new day? Are the customers, people, business partners, church members, leaders you serve new every day, even when they are the same people? Try looking forward to each day in the way I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I've got soldiers to meet; soldiers to help and I'm looking forward to it. You? Dr. D.

Routine Not So Routine for Some

Does it seem as though your day repeats the same thing of the previous day? It is certainly possible that it seems that way for you. But I am just as certain that it doesn't seem that way to the persons you engage. So, the soldier I talk with on my routine day is not so routine for that soldier. Though dealing with your children seems to be the same every day, it is not that way to your children. Your job may seem the same to you every day, but to your customers it is not the same. Customers need what you provide whether information, guidance, or auto parts. Every day is a new day. Like Friday night as I drove to Pope Air Force Base to welcome home soldier who had just returned from 15 months of duty in Iraq. Or like Saturday morning as I participated in training volunteers who will assist military family members. Both a routine responsibility for me, but definitely not routine for my audience. Reframe your day to see from your "customer's" point of view. A great way to dispel the routine. Dr. D.

Another Hot Day

Some places in NC were flooded yesterday and today they are drying out. Here at Ft Bragg, it was a very nice summer day -- HOT! Do soldiers stay indoors on hot days? No. Do soldiers stop training on hot days? No. Do soldiers stop preparing to deploy to a war zone? No. Do soldiers simply take the day off when it is hot? No. Soldiers soldier. They keep at it, hot or cold, rain or shine. Soldiers have done that for years, well, centuries, for 233 years since July 4, 1776. I admire that so much. They seem so young. I was married and had children and joined the US Army before most of them were born. They are as tough as any soldier before them. No softees here. So, another hot day means nothing to a soldier. Would that every American worked like this without complaint, without hesitation, without regard for self. That's a hot weather soldier. Today's Army. Dr. D.

Parenting is for TEAMS

Today I watched a Mom working with her two children, while their Dad looked on. With two kids wouldn't two parents have been a better idea than one active participant and one observer? Parenting is a Team Sport! Although I am the first to admit that Mom was the primary care giver, teacher, and, well, parent to our children, BOTH Mom and Dad are the parents, not just one or the other, not one more than the other. Parenting takes two and it is best when both work together. Sometimes it takes one parent to make it clear and friendly to the other that it takes two. Not just to "baby sit" but to parent, teaching, loving, giving, caring. Parenting is for TEAMS. Dr. D.